***DISCLAIMER: This is not a beauty related post, this is a post about life, love and relationships! (Also, this might apply to guys too but this time I am focusing on women)***
Well hello, this might seem kinda random, I am no expert in the matter, but I have some stuff I need to get off my chest, I was going to post this on my personal Facebook page but then I thought maybe other people out there are also going through a similar situation and could benefit from reading this post.
While currently in a happy relationship, I have been there, where lately, several of my friends seem to be... looking for "Mr. Right" (or at least Mr. Not a complete A**hole), left and right, I hear of people stuck in bad and unhealthy relationships.
I'm not judging, like I said, I've been there too, I've had my heart broken a time or two and I'm sure I've broken many others along the way... I am still standing, I have learned a thing or two and want to continue learning, because to me, that's what life is about.
I want to share what I know (recently understood) and I want all of you to know and believe that good men do exist! I'm not talking about perfect men, people are not perfect, relationships are rarely like the ones in the movies, but I do believe that it's all a combination of two people being in the right place at the right time and accepting people for who they are (starting by accepting yourself for who you are).
There is a book all girls should read: "Women Who Love Too Much". If you read it already, do yourself a favor and read it again! and as cliche as it sounds, the movie "He is not that into you" does a damn good job at explaining/reminding us those things we already know but don't wanna see.
I guess all I am trying to say is I wanna see my friends happy, not as a result of having a man, but just happy about being who you are, embracing your true self and believing that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you.
Amazingly enough, when a guy really wants to be with you, HE WILL! He will call, text, talk, send you smoke signals, whatever it might be; I don't know a girl who can honestly say she has never been guilty of chasing/obsessing/stalking and many other dumb things we all have done at one point or another... sending that second/third/fourth text because "maybe he just didn't get my first text"... catch yourself and STOP! (Or send me the text).
My mom always told me, people don't change, I now understand what she meant by that. I now understand that I am who I am, and I love my crazy self! When meeting people/dating, many people fall in love with the "potential" or the "idea", and we "think" we can change/make the guy "better" or more to our liking... If you feel that way, realize that you don't truly "like" that person, you like "what you think he can be", do yourself a favor and move on.
Be yourself, why lie, pretend or act a certain way when you meet someone new? Just so they "like you"? No way, I believe people should be honest, just like you want honesty from the guy, you should be willing to provide the same; just like you expect him to accept you with your past, you must be willing to accept his. The "right" person will accept you as you are, if he doesn't, then he is not the right person.
RED FLAGS - They are called RED FLAGS for a reason, don't ignore them unless you are willing to accept them and will be ok with the fact you won't be able to change them; it will just make things easier in the long run.
Own up to your mistakes, your weaknesses and your bad moments, he will appreciate your honesty, and you will appreciate it too, nothing worse than going through life pretending you are perfect and never do anything wrong.
Some truths I have learned:
- If he wants to go... OPEN THE DOOR AND LET HIM GO... We must make room in our lives for better things to happen!
- "If you have to wonder if he likes you... he doesn't!" (stolen from one of my smartest friends)
- If he says he is not looking for/ready for anything serious... LISTEN! If that's not what you want then move on, unless you are addicted to pain and disappointment because you won't "convince" him otherwise, and you shouldn't want to "convince" anyone o to be with you... that's just disrespectful to yourself.
- Love shouldn't hurt, yes you will disagree and argue over stuff, but constant fighting and extreme highs and lows are not a sign of "true passionate love"
- Love yourself and respect yourself, remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you accept from them.
- Stop making excuses for his behavior, people are who they are and they know right from wrong (and if for some reason they don't, is not your responsibility to teach them or to "fix them")
- Remember... he is not the last man on earth!
I have lots to say about this topic, like I stated before, I have learned a thing or two, and I constantly find myself talking to friends or giving advice on the subject... let me know what you think of this post and feel free to share your experience or any advice you have for women going through this.
Thank you for stopping by,